The (what would have been) Second Day of School

My Students and I

Yesterday would have been my first day back at work. I woke up in the morning looked at my beautiful boy and couldn't imagine bringing him to the babysitter's house. I've never felt more at peace with my decision to stay home. When my friends arrived home from work, one texted me to see how Charlie's doctor appointment was and share stories from her day. While I missed the laughs from work, I had so many more wonderful memories and stories to tell at the end of my day. These are moments I would have missed if I were at work.

Part of my desire to work in the past was that I love kids and making a difference in their day. Now, I have my own little one and I want to spend my days making him happy and wholly healthy. At the school I worked at, we prided ourselves on educating the whole child: mind, body, and spirit. If I had returned to work, what would happen to MY child's mind, body, and spirit while I wasn't there...

I know many people have to return to work for various reasons (and I very well may be one of them at some point) however, right now I am home with my beautiful little boy.

I can't say that it isn't weird seeing back to school commercials and school buses making runs on our block. Honestly, it is strange that everyone is headed back to school and I'm not going this year. I'll miss the excitement of the kids on the first day of school or the joy in their eyes when they finally understand a math problem they've been working on for the entire period. But, at this moment, my beautiful boy fell asleep in my arms and is snuggled up in his bassinet next to me. I will be here to see the smile on his face when he wakes up from his nap. I will be here when he giggles and coos. I will be here when he rolls over.

I honestly feel like this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Yes, my pregnancy was emotionally trying and child birth was physically demanding but, right now I desperately wish I could have the best of both worlds.

Teaching with Charlie in his Moby.

Halloween with the Faculty

I'm sure it will get easier as the days pass but, the only life I've known since college has been as a school teacher in a wonderful little school with an amazing faculty who has become my family and my friends.

I know it would be harder for me to go back to work and leave my little one every day so, I am very grateful for the ability to stay home with Charlie. I wouldn't give this up for anything.

Mommy and Charlie 

This song has been running through my head since Mass...