Ambivalence: Lessons in Parenting

Mandi, one of my bloggy friends, wrote a post and stated that she had never before used the word "ambivalence" in her writing. I started thinking about what the word "ambivalence" means. We talked a lot about it when I was in graduate school for my degree in counseling.

After thinking about our class discussions and checking out the dictionary, I came to decision that what I'm feeling right now is ambivalence.

Last night, my little boy (who will be ten months old on Friday!) slept in his crib for half the night. Today, he is napping in his crib. Until last night, he had never slept anywhere but next to me either in his pack n play or with us in bed.

Is it nice to have our bed back? Sure.

But, I miss him!

I've spent the last 19ish months with him no farther than an arms distance away from me.

The independence is nice but, I miss my little baby.

As parents, we are supposed to raise children to become successful, independent, God fearing children.

We've taught him that he can trust the fact that we will be there to get him when he is ready to wake up. We've taught him not to be afraid that something bad will happen to him because we will protect him.

I can't help but feel a little twinge of sadness that he can sleep on his own without crying hysterically when I put him down. 

However, I am proud that he can sleep on his own without crying hysterically when I put him down.

Ambivalence -

simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action

-Merriam Webster Dictionary